:: R.I.P. Ricky Ricardo ::

Well Tues. morning at about 4:30am I got a phone call, and well it wasn't good news.
My boy Ricky was killed in a motorcycle accident on Mon. night around midnight. He was running from the police. As dumb as that may have been, I miss my boy. Ricky and I have known each other for a while now, we were never Best Friends status, but that was my buddy. I remember many times at the races with Ricky, met him when I was 13 yr. old. Feels like just yesterday. I remember times we kicked it at his old apartment in Water Front, we just chilled having a good ol' time. Ricky was a great guy, very caring, and easy to get along with.

He got into bikes a couple years ago, and sold his civic. Since then we haven't hung as much as I would have liked to, we still always did parties, and ran into each other here and there. We had a blast at my 18th birthday, thats when I met his girlfriend Suzie, she was so adorable for him. They seemed so happy together. I recently, started seeing Ricky more and more. He had just called me the other day about some Calandar that Dirty Rimz was going to do, and wanted to know if I was interested in modeling for some bikes. I don't even want to do it anymore, I was doing it for him, and F that.

Well no matter what he will always be in everyones thoughts and prayers that he touched. And I just want to say farewell my friend, love you and see you one day in the future. <3333


And don't be up there getting into trouble. BEHAVE!!!!!

:: Grrrr, what do I do? ::

What does any girl do in this situation???????
You like somone, but don't want to say anything, even tho the feeling might be mutual, and that things could work out great!?!?!?

It doesn't make any sense to me at all. Things are always so damn complicating.......
Might have to face the music, and open my mouth and just tell this person how I feel!!!!
I don't want a commitment, but I also don't want to let somthing good slip between my fingers, DAMMIT..... Lol.... who fucking knows right???

Owell, right now I am more worried about getting off work to go get my car, it is done being worked on, so I can go get it when I get off work. And damn that gas thing on the rental car, I ain't putting NO kind of gas in it, lol, so they can kiss my A-S-S...... j.k I am not getting them on my ass over a few bucks.

Anyways, Grace has me dying right now, we are emailing each other WAITING ON LISA TO BLOG.......... Like she said she would this morning!!! We are WAITING Lisa, damnit.

:: Just a shit ton of fun ::

Lately, we have had SOME fun.

Brandi turned 23 the other day. Oct. 10th to be exact. And on that night we didn't do much. She went and saw some people, and I was at my house. The celebration was on the 13th, and we went to Kings Dominion. Had a blast, rode all the thrill rides, and then some. The drop zone, was the creepiest. The hesitation of that ride was nuts. Waiting for it to just drop you, was brain ratteling. I was so scared.

But anyways, back to before Kings Dominion. Last week was pretty chill, I got my results back from my heart monitor, talk about being nervous. Everything was ok, but not ok. I am now on a Beta Blocker, that helps to keep my bloodpressure and heart rate down, so that I don't get so uptight anymore. So we shall see what happens, hope everything will start to get better, less stress etc. Travis, Jessica and I chilled at her house and watched Deja Vu, and just hung out for a bit. And then on Friday Jessica, Travis and I went and stayed the night at my Grandma's house. Before we got there, we went to Walmart at Princess Anne, and there was a car on fire. That shit was nuts, the flames were huge. I felt sorry for the girl, but at least she was ok. And there was this guy standing near the car taking pictures, but he was plenty far back from the car, and there was a guy who drove RIGHT by it, so I yelled out, why don't you move you idiot. And I shit you not, 10 minutes later, this whodie ass black dude, comes up to my car and goes " were you calling me an idiot earlier when I was standing there?? " I told him no, that he needs to go somwhere, and Travis told him to take that shit somwhere else. And then he got gully. Said somthing about his " 45 " but without knowing this dude, we left. On the norm I would have stayed, but I wasn't getting killed for no damn reason! Fuck that! Let me just get ALL of Virginia Beach going after this one guy! His ass would be DONE FORRRRR............. But anyways, after that little retarted adventure, we went to Grandma's and then Food Lion, to get food for Sat. ended up getting some grub for dinner, and we did just that, we grubbed out!!!

Saturday we got up, and went to Brandi's moms house to meet everyone to go to Kings Dominion. We all had a blast :: Travis, Me, Jessica, Sarah, Brandi, MJ, Rodney, and Lisa. Then later on in the night Dom, and Brent met us up there, and we all rode some rides, then headed home. I was knocked out in the truck, was KNOCKED out, for awhile. Brandi drove home, thank god she didn't wreck when she "fell asleep driving" that is a scarey thing to hear. Lol, its all good tho, we are aight.

So today, Lisa FINALLY wrote a new blog. It is about time.

Well I am outta here, going to go and eat some lunch at home. Talk with everyone later.

:: Aw, my Brent ::

Is going to jail today, that sucks, I will miss my babies.

Its okay though, better get this mess out of the way, and move on, and BEHAVE from now on. But we know he won't behave sooooooo, cya in a bit there Brent.

Well anyways, lastnight was pretty fun, we went out to Derby, and chilled with Brent, Pat, John, and one of Pat's boys. They were still working on that truck that Pat is fixing. Then Jess, Brent, John and I went up to Hooters and got some grub. I murdered that cake too bitch. That shit was dank as a mufaka. Still got a little bit in the fridge at home too. Now WHAT? lol.

Well my Lisa finally came back from the dead and posted a little bulliten, not a big one tho, Im sure those aren't that far from being up. Soooo, we shall see when and how long it will be til she puts them up. So, we shall see what happens. And I'm waiting.................



Soooo, hope this weekend will be fun, we shall see what goes on, not too much tho, I am tired, and PMS'ing, lmao, so I won't be doing too much.

:: Even the stars know whatsup ::

They are telling me to relax and just do what comes to me, and not to worry so much.....

Aquarius
Quickie: Stop thinking so hard about how to reach people. Just start saying what you want.

Overview:You need to slow way down and focus on what you need to get done. It could be that you're heading in the wrong direction, but that doesn't mean you can't change course in the very near future.

...........well the problem here is, that i am having hard time right now with lonliness, yes this may be a blog that is kinda gay, but you can't help the emotions that happen to ya, so owell. When my girls aren't here, or are doing their own thang, and I am not with them, and even when I am with them somtimes, I feel so lonely. I think everyones major scare in life is being alone. And well it is driving me nuts. I have always hooked up with the dick heads, and the ones who I have fallen for (not in love just like them alot) and then they are just Assholes, who don't care, and use me. And well now I just push everyone else away, even the ones who wouldn't hurt me. And it is starting to drive me nuts. Like I want a relasionship, but I don't want a rushed one, or when I get close to being in one, I get scared and I distance myself from the guy. And well, I see a continuing pattern, and it fucking sucks. I love my girls, and love spending time with them, but I am not going to be single my whole life. And yeah I am still young, so right now I want to be single, and I love it/hate it. But i am not going to rush into anything, my last relasionship SUCKED, lol. And I don't want that to happen again, we faught too much, and it was just nothing but drama. And I don't want to go thru that again. And well I am going to take my time, and just let things flow how they should. But it sucks to have to wait and see what happens, but owell.

Sitting at work now, just talking to Nick, and Grace, guess I just need to go out tonight like me and Jessica have been talking about, and have some fun, and get my mind off this bullshit. And just have some fun.

Well I am out of here, back to doing absolutely nothing, DAMNIT, I need more work to do.

:: Well right now my life according to me SUCKS ::

I need to do somthing about it, my car is nice, and all but I mean thats all I have. I have a damn car, a job, and I live with my pops.

I want to get a second job, but I don't want to be burned out, and I refuse to do so. I need to work and make money, but where I am now, Im making chump change, and I can't do it anymore, and won't do it anymore. I got to do somthing, but with no help, we shall see.
I would love to move out, but can't without saving money, and with no money left to save after bills, I can't very much do that now can I ? And I don't want to live at home with dad forever, I want to go back to school, but I don't have the money for that, and wouldn't have the time to if I got a 2nd job. So here I am stuck between 2 spots, and not knowing what to do about it. I guess I can just sit back and see what happens, it sucks, but I don't really have much of a choice in the matter? I would love to get out of home, start school, and live my life how I want to. Everyone else has their parents, or a man to help them, but guess what??? I don't have either, and I shouldnt need either. I don't get the pleasure of my man making mad dough, and me not having to do shit. And I don't have the pleasure of having parents making mad dough, and just pay for my shit. It just doesn't happen like that for everyone, but damn I wish it did. I don't want nor need a man right now, and I don't want or need my parents to whipe my ass for me, when I am capable on my own to do it, when the time comes. I just hope that time is sooner than later, cuz damit this helpless feeling sucks like you wouldn't believe.

Well wish me luck, and sorry about that above shit, but I needed to vent, and might as well in a blog huh?

:: 9:32 am, and alreadyyyyy ::

Already today, shit has started....







9:32am- I get a phone call from my boss, telling me that Dr. Almighty Griffin says he was on hold for too long. WTF?, aren't you in the office today? Why are you calling the main line of the place you are at?? Oh thats right because I am 10 yr. old, you have to check up on me, and see how I am doing?? Because yesterday was MY 8th birthday party. I mean seriously, maybe if they got more than one line coming into this place, and more people to answer them then you wouldnt be waiting on hold, but when I have 20 back to back calls, I can't really help it, and I can't hangup on people who start bitching, and when YOUR FUCKING NURSES, don't answer their line, and I have to get UP and go make sure they answer next time I call, then of course people are going to wait on hold. So how about you re-think who to fucking talk to, you selfish son of a bitch. Cuz I am over this bullshit completely. And I swear to god, I will leave this place within the time it takes you to hop, skip, and play a game of jump rope. Im over it.





I am going to get my resume done, and see what happens. I do need to make more money too, and have more to do at work.