People these days man! Always got to go and mind everyone elses business, let bigons be bigons. Mind your own business, and the world would be less stressful, damn!
Anyways, things haven't been too bad/good lately. I just been chillen around the house, haven't been going out too much, cept to go over to somones house and sit on my ass! Lisa and Brandi are out of town, so I was dog sitting Irie for a couple days. That dog needs to get fixed man, he is a wreck, always dribbling piss everywhere. NASTY! TRIFE! He is adroable though. I miss my Missy dog, she was always so well behaved, and listened to everything I said. I bet if I got her now, she would act up for 2.5 then realize she won't get away with SHIT when she is with me. So she can nex that one!!! Thats my baby tho, I miss her to death. I wish I could get my place, so I could have her with me again, but thats not happening anytime soon! So back to talking about nothing in particular!
Def. watching Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, and this shit is weak. Haven't watched it since I was a kid, and so I can better understand the adult humor in the movie now! Too bad the Dolphins suck now. Lol.... speaking of which, we play Tennessee tonight, can't wait to see how this is going to go down! Hope the boys go out there and play their best! They better!!! Shitttt.
I can't believe that Thanksgiving is Thur. where has the time gone man!? I am heading up to Richmond on Thur morning! We are eating over at Nancy's house. Then Fri. morning, I am heading to Deltaville where my grandmother lives, and eating with that side of the family. Hope everyone is in a lively mood, so its not boring. So I should be back around this direction by Sat. afternoon! I will get up Sat. morning and head home. Hope this week is adventurous, I need some type of positive atitudes around me. So hope this will be a fun event. I really wana go shopping on Fri, but I doubt my family will get up, plus I am broke!!
Grace, I just wana say I love you, and I hope everything works out well for you! I will knock a bitch boiiiiiiieeeee...... lol. Wish I had taken a pic of the Stang in the air tho, for real!
God I can't wait to eat on Thur and Fri. 2 Thanksgivings in 2 days, Imma be FAT as hell...Owelll, wish my friends could go with me up to Richmond, we would all have so much fun! Or I wish we could all have one big Thanksgiving like last year! Cept have more people this time. Awwww, I miss Rico etc. 24th St. yall! We had a pot luck! lmao. Forrrrizzeal!!!
Well Imma head out of here, gotta see whats going on here at work !
:: smoochie boochie :: Aw T-rav! In the bushes huh??? lmao, at Lisa, I was WEAK!
Monday, November 19, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
:: When will I know who I am ::
I don't know who I am inside for real. And well this is my time to figure that out! I might hurt a few peoples feelings in the process, but I have to do it. Those who are close to me should understand and appreciate it. Those who get upset, and can't understand that, then I don't need you around anymore. I have been thru alot in the past year, alot of life changes, and new learning experiences. Not all of which I have made good choices about. Those of you that have stayed by my side thru everything I do appreciate you guys, and thankyou, you know who you are!
In the most recent months I have become close with somone special. He is an awsome person, and means alot to me! Thing is, I am not showing towards him, the emotion, and etc. that he deserves. And most are probablly like, WHY?!?!?, or HOW!?!?, well theres an easy answer for that. I am not ready to show that towards somone. He has done nothing wrong at all. He is what any girl would want, and then some in a good boyfriend. Problem about it all, is I am not ready to devote myself, time, etc. to a relasionship. And well he shouldn't have to suffer from it. It hurts me alot to have to tell him all of this, but there is no other thing to do. I am not going to be fake about it, and act like nothing is wrong, then 6 months down the road, still be feeling the same way, and have ruined a friendship/relasionship all together. He has been a very close, and good friend to me, for the last year, and I couldn't have asked for anything more. I can talk to and tell him anything, and its great that I can, which is why I have to do this. I am hoping that he understands what I am going thru, and will still be here for me reguardless. I do not want to lose his friendship at all. Wouldn't give that up for the world. But we shall see how things go huh??
Also in the past week, a friend and I have hit some hard spots, and well it sucks. BAD, me and her have always had little spats here and there, but we always worked thru them. Things haven't been so easy for either one of us recently. Things have just been all out of wack, and our atitudes haven't been too well either. I am hoping that we can work past things, but who knows how things will go, we shall see. Just hope she knows I love her to death, and I miss her!
Song that I think I need to learn from, and she has helped me learn from it, thnx Xtina:
Young girl, don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl, it's all right
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly
When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your wayYou will learn to begin
To trust the voice within
Young girl, don't hide
You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl, just hold tight
And soon you're gonna see your brighter day
Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you're lost outside look inside to your soul
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
You will learn to begin To trust the voice within
Yeah...
Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning
You'll find all you'll ever need to know
You'll break it
You'll make it
Just don't go forsaking yourself
No one can stop you
You know that I'm talking to you
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
You will learn to begin To trust the voice within
Young girl don't cryI'll be right here when your world starts to
fallhmmmmm...mmmmmm...
In the most recent months I have become close with somone special. He is an awsome person, and means alot to me! Thing is, I am not showing towards him, the emotion, and etc. that he deserves. And most are probablly like, WHY?!?!?, or HOW!?!?, well theres an easy answer for that. I am not ready to show that towards somone. He has done nothing wrong at all. He is what any girl would want, and then some in a good boyfriend. Problem about it all, is I am not ready to devote myself, time, etc. to a relasionship. And well he shouldn't have to suffer from it. It hurts me alot to have to tell him all of this, but there is no other thing to do. I am not going to be fake about it, and act like nothing is wrong, then 6 months down the road, still be feeling the same way, and have ruined a friendship/relasionship all together. He has been a very close, and good friend to me, for the last year, and I couldn't have asked for anything more. I can talk to and tell him anything, and its great that I can, which is why I have to do this. I am hoping that he understands what I am going thru, and will still be here for me reguardless. I do not want to lose his friendship at all. Wouldn't give that up for the world. But we shall see how things go huh??
Also in the past week, a friend and I have hit some hard spots, and well it sucks. BAD, me and her have always had little spats here and there, but we always worked thru them. Things haven't been so easy for either one of us recently. Things have just been all out of wack, and our atitudes haven't been too well either. I am hoping that we can work past things, but who knows how things will go, we shall see. Just hope she knows I love her to death, and I miss her!
Song that I think I need to learn from, and she has helped me learn from it, thnx Xtina:
Young girl, don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl, it's all right
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly
When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your wayYou will learn to begin
To trust the voice within
Young girl, don't hide
You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl, just hold tight
And soon you're gonna see your brighter day
Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you're lost outside look inside to your soul
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
You will learn to begin To trust the voice within
Yeah...
Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning
You'll find all you'll ever need to know
You'll break it
You'll make it
Just don't go forsaking yourself
No one can stop you
You know that I'm talking to you
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
You will learn to begin To trust the voice within
Young girl don't cryI'll be right here when your world starts to
fallhmmmmm...mmmmmm...
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
:: R.I.P. Ricky Ricardo ::
Well Tues. morning at about 4:30am I got a phone call, and well it wasn't good news.
My boy Ricky was killed in a motorcycle accident on Mon. night around midnight. He was running from the police. As dumb as that may have been, I miss my boy. Ricky and I have known each other for a while now, we were never Best Friends status, but that was my buddy. I remember many times at the races with Ricky, met him when I was 13 yr. old. Feels like just yesterday. I remember times we kicked it at his old apartment in Water Front, we just chilled having a good ol' time. Ricky was a great guy, very caring, and easy to get along with.
He got into bikes a couple years ago, and sold his civic. Since then we haven't hung as much as I would have liked to, we still always did parties, and ran into each other here and there. We had a blast at my 18th birthday, thats when I met his girlfriend Suzie, she was so adorable for him. They seemed so happy together. I recently, started seeing Ricky more and more. He had just called me the other day about some Calandar that Dirty Rimz was going to do, and wanted to know if I was interested in modeling for some bikes. I don't even want to do it anymore, I was doing it for him, and F that.
Well no matter what he will always be in everyones thoughts and prayers that he touched. And I just want to say farewell my friend, love you and see you one day in the future. <3333
And don't be up there getting into trouble. BEHAVE!!!!!
My boy Ricky was killed in a motorcycle accident on Mon. night around midnight. He was running from the police. As dumb as that may have been, I miss my boy. Ricky and I have known each other for a while now, we were never Best Friends status, but that was my buddy. I remember many times at the races with Ricky, met him when I was 13 yr. old. Feels like just yesterday. I remember times we kicked it at his old apartment in Water Front, we just chilled having a good ol' time. Ricky was a great guy, very caring, and easy to get along with.
He got into bikes a couple years ago, and sold his civic. Since then we haven't hung as much as I would have liked to, we still always did parties, and ran into each other here and there. We had a blast at my 18th birthday, thats when I met his girlfriend Suzie, she was so adorable for him. They seemed so happy together. I recently, started seeing Ricky more and more. He had just called me the other day about some Calandar that Dirty Rimz was going to do, and wanted to know if I was interested in modeling for some bikes. I don't even want to do it anymore, I was doing it for him, and F that.
Well no matter what he will always be in everyones thoughts and prayers that he touched. And I just want to say farewell my friend, love you and see you one day in the future. <3333
And don't be up there getting into trouble. BEHAVE!!!!!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
:: Grrrr, what do I do? ::
What does any girl do in this situation???????
You like somone, but don't want to say anything, even tho the feeling might be mutual, and that things could work out great!?!?!?
It doesn't make any sense to me at all. Things are always so damn complicating.......
Might have to face the music, and open my mouth and just tell this person how I feel!!!!
I don't want a commitment, but I also don't want to let somthing good slip between my fingers, DAMMIT..... Lol.... who fucking knows right???
Owell, right now I am more worried about getting off work to go get my car, it is done being worked on, so I can go get it when I get off work. And damn that gas thing on the rental car, I ain't putting NO kind of gas in it, lol, so they can kiss my A-S-S...... j.k I am not getting them on my ass over a few bucks.
Anyways, Grace has me dying right now, we are emailing each other WAITING ON LISA TO BLOG.......... Like she said she would this morning!!! We are WAITING Lisa, damnit.
You like somone, but don't want to say anything, even tho the feeling might be mutual, and that things could work out great!?!?!?
It doesn't make any sense to me at all. Things are always so damn complicating.......
Might have to face the music, and open my mouth and just tell this person how I feel!!!!
I don't want a commitment, but I also don't want to let somthing good slip between my fingers, DAMMIT..... Lol.... who fucking knows right???
Owell, right now I am more worried about getting off work to go get my car, it is done being worked on, so I can go get it when I get off work. And damn that gas thing on the rental car, I ain't putting NO kind of gas in it, lol, so they can kiss my A-S-S...... j.k I am not getting them on my ass over a few bucks.
Anyways, Grace has me dying right now, we are emailing each other WAITING ON LISA TO BLOG.......... Like she said she would this morning!!! We are WAITING Lisa, damnit.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
:: Just a shit ton of fun ::
Lately, we have had SOME fun.
Brandi turned 23 the other day. Oct. 10th to be exact. And on that night we didn't do much. She went and saw some people, and I was at my house. The celebration was on the 13th, and we went to Kings Dominion. Had a blast, rode all the thrill rides, and then some. The drop zone, was the creepiest. The hesitation of that ride was nuts. Waiting for it to just drop you, was brain ratteling. I was so scared.
But anyways, back to before Kings Dominion. Last week was pretty chill, I got my results back from my heart monitor, talk about being nervous. Everything was ok, but not ok. I am now on a Beta Blocker, that helps to keep my bloodpressure and heart rate down, so that I don't get so uptight anymore. So we shall see what happens, hope everything will start to get better, less stress etc. Travis, Jessica and I chilled at her house and watched Deja Vu, and just hung out for a bit. And then on Friday Jessica, Travis and I went and stayed the night at my Grandma's house. Before we got there, we went to Walmart at Princess Anne, and there was a car on fire. That shit was nuts, the flames were huge. I felt sorry for the girl, but at least she was ok. And there was this guy standing near the car taking pictures, but he was plenty far back from the car, and there was a guy who drove RIGHT by it, so I yelled out, why don't you move you idiot. And I shit you not, 10 minutes later, this whodie ass black dude, comes up to my car and goes " were you calling me an idiot earlier when I was standing there?? " I told him no, that he needs to go somwhere, and Travis told him to take that shit somwhere else. And then he got gully. Said somthing about his " 45 " but without knowing this dude, we left. On the norm I would have stayed, but I wasn't getting killed for no damn reason! Fuck that! Let me just get ALL of Virginia Beach going after this one guy! His ass would be DONE FORRRRR............. But anyways, after that little retarted adventure, we went to Grandma's and then Food Lion, to get food for Sat. ended up getting some grub for dinner, and we did just that, we grubbed out!!!
Saturday we got up, and went to Brandi's moms house to meet everyone to go to Kings Dominion. We all had a blast :: Travis, Me, Jessica, Sarah, Brandi, MJ, Rodney, and Lisa. Then later on in the night Dom, and Brent met us up there, and we all rode some rides, then headed home. I was knocked out in the truck, was KNOCKED out, for awhile. Brandi drove home, thank god she didn't wreck when she "fell asleep driving" that is a scarey thing to hear. Lol, its all good tho, we are aight.
So today, Lisa FINALLY wrote a new blog. It is about time.
Well I am outta here, going to go and eat some lunch at home. Talk with everyone later.
Brandi turned 23 the other day. Oct. 10th to be exact. And on that night we didn't do much. She went and saw some people, and I was at my house. The celebration was on the 13th, and we went to Kings Dominion. Had a blast, rode all the thrill rides, and then some. The drop zone, was the creepiest. The hesitation of that ride was nuts. Waiting for it to just drop you, was brain ratteling. I was so scared.
But anyways, back to before Kings Dominion. Last week was pretty chill, I got my results back from my heart monitor, talk about being nervous. Everything was ok, but not ok. I am now on a Beta Blocker, that helps to keep my bloodpressure and heart rate down, so that I don't get so uptight anymore. So we shall see what happens, hope everything will start to get better, less stress etc. Travis, Jessica and I chilled at her house and watched Deja Vu, and just hung out for a bit. And then on Friday Jessica, Travis and I went and stayed the night at my Grandma's house. Before we got there, we went to Walmart at Princess Anne, and there was a car on fire. That shit was nuts, the flames were huge. I felt sorry for the girl, but at least she was ok. And there was this guy standing near the car taking pictures, but he was plenty far back from the car, and there was a guy who drove RIGHT by it, so I yelled out, why don't you move you idiot. And I shit you not, 10 minutes later, this whodie ass black dude, comes up to my car and goes " were you calling me an idiot earlier when I was standing there?? " I told him no, that he needs to go somwhere, and Travis told him to take that shit somwhere else. And then he got gully. Said somthing about his " 45 " but without knowing this dude, we left. On the norm I would have stayed, but I wasn't getting killed for no damn reason! Fuck that! Let me just get ALL of Virginia Beach going after this one guy! His ass would be DONE FORRRRR............. But anyways, after that little retarted adventure, we went to Grandma's and then Food Lion, to get food for Sat. ended up getting some grub for dinner, and we did just that, we grubbed out!!!
Saturday we got up, and went to Brandi's moms house to meet everyone to go to Kings Dominion. We all had a blast :: Travis, Me, Jessica, Sarah, Brandi, MJ, Rodney, and Lisa. Then later on in the night Dom, and Brent met us up there, and we all rode some rides, then headed home. I was knocked out in the truck, was KNOCKED out, for awhile. Brandi drove home, thank god she didn't wreck when she "fell asleep driving" that is a scarey thing to hear. Lol, its all good tho, we are aight.
So today, Lisa FINALLY wrote a new blog. It is about time.
Well I am outta here, going to go and eat some lunch at home. Talk with everyone later.
Friday, October 5, 2007
:: Aw, my Brent ::
Is going to jail today, that sucks, I will miss my babies.
Its okay though, better get this mess out of the way, and move on, and BEHAVE from now on. But we know he won't behave sooooooo, cya in a bit there Brent.
Well anyways, lastnight was pretty fun, we went out to Derby, and chilled with Brent, Pat, John, and one of Pat's boys. They were still working on that truck that Pat is fixing. Then Jess, Brent, John and I went up to Hooters and got some grub. I murdered that cake too bitch. That shit was dank as a mufaka. Still got a little bit in the fridge at home too. Now WHAT? lol.
Well my Lisa finally came back from the dead and posted a little bulliten, not a big one tho, Im sure those aren't that far from being up. Soooo, we shall see when and how long it will be til she puts them up. So, we shall see what happens. And I'm waiting.................
Soooo, hope this weekend will be fun, we shall see what goes on, not too much tho, I am tired, and PMS'ing, lmao, so I won't be doing too much.
Its okay though, better get this mess out of the way, and move on, and BEHAVE from now on. But we know he won't behave sooooooo, cya in a bit there Brent.
Well anyways, lastnight was pretty fun, we went out to Derby, and chilled with Brent, Pat, John, and one of Pat's boys. They were still working on that truck that Pat is fixing. Then Jess, Brent, John and I went up to Hooters and got some grub. I murdered that cake too bitch. That shit was dank as a mufaka. Still got a little bit in the fridge at home too. Now WHAT? lol.
Well my Lisa finally came back from the dead and posted a little bulliten, not a big one tho, Im sure those aren't that far from being up. Soooo, we shall see when and how long it will be til she puts them up. So, we shall see what happens. And I'm waiting.................
Soooo, hope this weekend will be fun, we shall see what goes on, not too much tho, I am tired, and PMS'ing, lmao, so I won't be doing too much.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
:: Even the stars know whatsup ::
They are telling me to relax and just do what comes to me, and not to worry so much.....
Aquarius
Quickie: Stop thinking so hard about how to reach people. Just start saying what you want.
Overview:You need to slow way down and focus on what you need to get done. It could be that you're heading in the wrong direction, but that doesn't mean you can't change course in the very near future.
...........well the problem here is, that i am having hard time right now with lonliness, yes this may be a blog that is kinda gay, but you can't help the emotions that happen to ya, so owell. When my girls aren't here, or are doing their own thang, and I am not with them, and even when I am with them somtimes, I feel so lonely. I think everyones major scare in life is being alone. And well it is driving me nuts. I have always hooked up with the dick heads, and the ones who I have fallen for (not in love just like them alot) and then they are just Assholes, who don't care, and use me. And well now I just push everyone else away, even the ones who wouldn't hurt me. And it is starting to drive me nuts. Like I want a relasionship, but I don't want a rushed one, or when I get close to being in one, I get scared and I distance myself from the guy. And well, I see a continuing pattern, and it fucking sucks. I love my girls, and love spending time with them, but I am not going to be single my whole life. And yeah I am still young, so right now I want to be single, and I love it/hate it. But i am not going to rush into anything, my last relasionship SUCKED, lol. And I don't want that to happen again, we faught too much, and it was just nothing but drama. And I don't want to go thru that again. And well I am going to take my time, and just let things flow how they should. But it sucks to have to wait and see what happens, but owell.
Sitting at work now, just talking to Nick, and Grace, guess I just need to go out tonight like me and Jessica have been talking about, and have some fun, and get my mind off this bullshit. And just have some fun.
Well I am out of here, back to doing absolutely nothing, DAMNIT, I need more work to do.
Aquarius
Quickie: Stop thinking so hard about how to reach people. Just start saying what you want.
Overview:You need to slow way down and focus on what you need to get done. It could be that you're heading in the wrong direction, but that doesn't mean you can't change course in the very near future.
...........well the problem here is, that i am having hard time right now with lonliness, yes this may be a blog that is kinda gay, but you can't help the emotions that happen to ya, so owell. When my girls aren't here, or are doing their own thang, and I am not with them, and even when I am with them somtimes, I feel so lonely. I think everyones major scare in life is being alone. And well it is driving me nuts. I have always hooked up with the dick heads, and the ones who I have fallen for (not in love just like them alot) and then they are just Assholes, who don't care, and use me. And well now I just push everyone else away, even the ones who wouldn't hurt me. And it is starting to drive me nuts. Like I want a relasionship, but I don't want a rushed one, or when I get close to being in one, I get scared and I distance myself from the guy. And well, I see a continuing pattern, and it fucking sucks. I love my girls, and love spending time with them, but I am not going to be single my whole life. And yeah I am still young, so right now I want to be single, and I love it/hate it. But i am not going to rush into anything, my last relasionship SUCKED, lol. And I don't want that to happen again, we faught too much, and it was just nothing but drama. And I don't want to go thru that again. And well I am going to take my time, and just let things flow how they should. But it sucks to have to wait and see what happens, but owell.
Sitting at work now, just talking to Nick, and Grace, guess I just need to go out tonight like me and Jessica have been talking about, and have some fun, and get my mind off this bullshit. And just have some fun.
Well I am out of here, back to doing absolutely nothing, DAMNIT, I need more work to do.
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